It’s very difficult to understand Australians. Half the time you legitimately can’t understand what they’re talking about and the rest of the time you’re not listening to what they’re saying because you keep thinking about how hot it would be to date one, if just to have them say “what do you want for breaky this morning?"

Without a doubt the best Australian import of recent is “Kath & Kim.” It’s basically an amalgamation of Absolutely Fabulous and Arrested Development and it's amazing. Also, it's alarmingly like my own life. So, go ahead and crack open a bottle of Cardonnay (yes, it’s CARdonnay) and enjoy yourself some Kath & Kim.

Oh, and if your hornbag Australian lover ever asks what you want for breaky you’ll know how to respond; “footie franks and squashed fly bickies please.” Although that pretty much equates to hot dogs and oatmeal-raisin cookies, you'll still feel so clever...and even if it makes you sound tarded, at least you have a foxy Australian in your bed.

Enjoy this Kath & Kim preview...